98 - All Rise

November 7th, 2022  |  41 mins 36 secs

all rise, blue, court, matlock, objection overruled, self-representation

The Honorable Shitty British Boy Band presiding... What do you get when Simon Cowell puts together a 3rd rate boy band and put them in a room with some Norwegian producers? Unfortunately, it seems like you get a terrible song with about a baker's dozen references to court-oriented stuff but without really knowing how court works. And bad rapping.

97 - Poundcake

October 31st, 2022  |  51 mins 18 secs

for unlawful carnal knowledge, poundcake, sammy hagar, van hagar, van halen

BOO! There's only one thing scarier than ghouls and goblins on Halloween.... and that is Van Halen fronted by Gary Cherone! We brought you the next scariest thing; Van Halen fronted by a very horny Sammy Hagar. Why not compare love-filled sex to a dense bread? Well, we'll tell you why.

96 - Float On

October 24th, 2022  |  38 mins 52 secs

The dudes take a crack at Modest Mouse's idea of a positive song.... whether you like it or not. Isaac Brock tries on some of his weird codified language for this positivity-through-nihilism anthem and we're not so sure it works.

95 - Born In The USA

October 17th, 2022  |  57 mins 47 secs

anti war, born in the usa, bruce springsteen, long tall daddy, the boss, vietnam

A slight change of course... Seth and Marc aren't talking about lyrics that are bad, but about a song that is misinterpreted... The Boss's Born In The USA. Often seen by fist-pumping, over-excited people who just like to chant "U!S!A!" a lot as a pro-patriot anthem, the truth is much darker.

94 - Billionaire

October 11th, 2022  |  59 mins 24 secs

billionaire, bruno mars, gym class heroes, questionable adoption, travie mccoy, travis mccoy

Seth and Marc are back together post-Hurricane Ian to listen to Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars wax poetic about what he would do if he was a billionaire. The short list? Have a TV show, wake up in different cities, play basketball with the president, and MAYBE help with Hurricane Katrina victims. This guy kind of sucks.

93 - Sweat (A La La La La Long)

September 26th, 2022  |  48 mins 14 secs

inner circle, poor waitress, reggae, sweat, yikes

The guys take a little trip to the Caribbean to visit the troublesome reggae hit Sweat by the Bad Boys of Inner Circle. If the music video has anything to say about what's going on here, we got a song about a guy getting a littllllle ahead of himself because he saw someone smile and immediately thinks that's a good queue to tell her he wants to fuck her into exhaustion. Not what we'd recommend. Beware of the high Creep Factor!

92 - Pumped Up Kicks

September 19th, 2022  |  49 mins 54 secs

armchair psychologist, foster the people, his people, hollywood handbook, mark foster, pumped up kicks, school shootings

Seth and Marc are here to tell you what this song is about. Mark Foster and his People are here to tell you how great they are and how truly important this song is. Today, we look at what's going on in this repetitive earworm outside of the boring chorus and talk about whether or not it hits the Mark.

91 - He Hit Me

September 12th, 2022  |  24 mins 36 secs

abuse, and it felt like a kiss, domestic abuse, he hit me, many yikes, the crystals

Yikes. Double yikes. TRIPLE yikes, even. This short-played single dealing with abuse seen as love through the eyes of the abused was pretty instantly put on the back burner and with good reason. Carole King and her then husband writing a song about their babysitter who was showing up bruised at the hands of her boyfriend and making it into a hit with Phil Spector? QUADRUPLE YIKES.

90 - Honey

September 5th, 2022  |  41 mins 38 secs

codewords for cum, codewords for heroin, drug addiction, honey, mariah carey, peter north

Horniness ahead! Seth and Marc talk about a topic they could go on and on about for days... Mariah Carey. On the brink, and in the process, of getting out from clutches of her husband Tony Mottola, she was reformed and ready to get horny. But this song sounds like it might be more about something more addictive than love... and we don't mean honey.

89 - Every Picture Tells A Story

August 29th, 2022  |  53 mins 59 secs

every picture tells a story, racism, rod stewart, sexism, the faces, world traveling

Rod's back, baby! And he brought Ronnie Wood with him to tell stories about traveling the world, being so hot and famous you cause a stampede, and then being racist toward Asian people. Why don't we wrap it up by repeating the song title 24 times which has absolutely nothing to do with anything in the song? Whatever, Rod. Just leave the woman in the cabin alone.

88 - All That She Wants

August 22nd, 2022  |  42 mins 50 secs

ace of base, all that she wants, maneater, stud bull, the most dangerous game

Hej! Seth and Marc take on the the Ace of Base smash hit All That She Wants. Is this song about a woman trying to trick men into planting their seed in her a la Heart to collect welfare or is she just looking to get plowed like a Swedish potato field? We'll take a look and also discuss one members' shady past.

87 - Your Love

August 15th, 2022  |  51 mins 6 secs

cheating, grade 3 horniness, scandal, the baseball boys, the outfield, your love

What to do when your significant other leaves town for holiday? Why, you call up an old flame and throw every trick in the book at her to go to sexy town and then tell her to shut up about it... at least that's what The Outfield seem to think. Listen as Seth and Marc get weirded out by the list of symptoms the narrator mentions from lack of punanny that sound like someone going through withdrawals. Eek.

86 - Fever For The Flava

August 8th, 2022  |  36 mins 21 secs

awful, coochie, fever for the flava, hoochie, hot action cop, sticky sticky

A song so bad that Seth and Marc had to just jump into it. It's every kind of bad a song can be.... it's Hot Action Cop talking about being addicted to the "flava" of vaginas and begging a woman to stick various things in her until she finally relents, I guess. Atrocious. All we can do is hope the titular fever is terminal.

85 - Is She Really Going Out With Him?

August 1st, 2022  |  49 mins 50 secs

cold coffee, is she really going out with him, jealousy, joe jackson, manslaughter, stalking

Who had "Joe Jackson is a borderline incel" on their 1979 bingo card? I certainly didn't. But here we are... stalking, possibly racist comments, and maybe even some manslaughter thrown in for good measure all because women he is obsessed with are fucking other guys he think are ugly. Yes, Joe... something IS going wrong around here.

84 - Life

July 22nd, 2022  |  44 mins 1 sec

des'ree, ghost, life, most, terrible lyrics, toast, ugh

Easy work for the guys this week with a song that was voted Worst Lyrics by a BBC show; Life by Des'ree. Not only are the lyrics simple and terrible, but they're also random and terrible. And terrible. Oof. Terrible.

83 - Don't Trust Me

July 15th, 2022  |  58 mins 10 secs

3oh!3, ableism, don't trust me, misogyny, negging

What has 2 heads, 4 eyes, one Ultimate Frisbee Championship, and a hit song chock full of misogyny and cringey lyrics? That's right... it's 3OH!3! Marc and Seth try to unravel whatever the fuck is going on with this shithead negging madman who decides that the best way to a woman's heart is telling her to shut up and then make fun of a disabled person. Interesting....