June 17th, 2022 | 56 mins 50 secs
creepy, daughter/mom threesomes, maroon 5. maroon five, she will be loved, songs for jane, voyeurism
Seth and Marc take Adam Levine and his 4 red brethren on with the vaguely-threatening-sounding She Will Be Loved. Is this song about a prostitute? Is it written in first or third person? What in the fuck is going on in the music video? Every step forward creates more questions.
June 10th, 2022 | 53 mins 30 secs
complete bs, oops, placeholder lyrics, toad the wet sprocket, ttws, walk on the ocean
Marc is outnumbered as he goes toe-to-toe against not just Seth but also very special guest Patrick who brought this song to our doorstep like the Barely Breathing carcass of a rodent left by a proud cat. The name of that carcass is Walk On The Ocean by Toad The Wet Sprocket.... a strange name for a rodent, we agree. Much to Marc's chagrin, the writer of the lyrics agrees that the song is hogwash. Still, Marc forges ahead. Who wins in your heart?
June 3rd, 2022 | 1 hr 17 mins
awful freestyling, fake rastarians, not knowing how poker works, o.a.r., oar, of a revolution, poker, that was a crazy game of poker
This is a new low on the podcast ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between. Technically not a single, it's a popular song within certain circles and it's just so bad all around we had to do it... O.A.R.'s "That Was A Crazy Game Of Poker" is so terrible, Seth and Marc find themselves mute at times before spiraling into anger and anguish. Grab some popcorn.... it's a long one.
May 27th, 2022 | 1 hr 8 mins
fucked up lyrics, pepa, salt, salt and pepe, shoop, spinderella 1 spinderella 2, super sperm
I dare any horny people out there to go toe-to-toe with Salt and/or Pepa! This song is all about getting juicy in nature's humidifier by looking at attractive black men. But the song starts to take a weird turn and by the third verse, it's falling apart. Throw an epithet in there and some powerful semen and you've got a full-blown train wreck by the end. This song makes me want to take a shoop.
May 20th, 2022 | 40 mins 34 secs
baby, galloping guitars, let's go, loverboy, probably cocaine, weekend, working, working for the weekend
Seth and Marc think they have an easy week ahead of them.... just some dumb lyrics about getting caught up in the rat race of a 9 to 5 job, right? We're not so sure... this song is chock full of deity-esque allusions and instructions on how to take a piece of someone's heart. And who are they singing to? To find out, we gotta start from the start.
May 13th, 2022 | 56 mins 30 secs
bad poetry, bubble, bubble toes, foot deformity, jack johnson, toes, white rapping
Hawaii is the home to some gorgeous culture and scenery... it is also responsible for the man who did this. Seth and Marc try to work through the college bros' Anthony Kiedis who bought an acoustic guitar instead of putting a sock on his dick. A love song that was almost certainly written while on pills of some kind, this somehow helped him manage to win over a beautiful woman so who are we to judge? Yet, here we are....
May 6th, 2022 | 59 mins 58 secs
drugs, len, possible incest, raves, steal my sunshine, yikes
Imagine if you went to a rave, probably did a lot of drugs, laying in the grass, were in the middle of a fight with your sister, and wrote a song about how you were feeling in "tribal lunar speak." You'd probably get whatever the fuck mess this is. Seth and Marc bob their heads to a great sample with lyrics that sink this bad boy like the Edmund Fitzgerald.
April 29th, 2022 | 51 mins 16 secs
doe eyes, double wide, follow me, infidelity, uncle kracker, white trash pride
Marc and Seth are here with Uncle Kracker to tuck you in a night behind your husband's back. Let the needle drop on the hit album Double Wide and let the radio waves wash over you with a sweet song about infidelity and empty promises. It's probably better that you won't find nobody else like him.
April 22nd, 2022 | 45 mins 6 secs
cryptic lines, enrique iglesias, gross, i'm fucking you, pre-determined sex, tonight
Surprise! You're getting fucked by Enrique Iglesias whether you knew it or not. Seth and Marc comb through the "not arrogant" lyrics of Tonight (I'm Fucking You) which turns out to be incredibly arrogant. Who knew?! Listen to the guys comb through one of the highest Creep Factors they've had in a minute.
April 15th, 2022 | 48 mins 40 secs
breakfast at tiffany's, deep blue something, shitty boyfriends, shitty relationships, shitty songs
Marc releases his wrath on a song that's been bugging him a little more than he realized and Seth lends a supportive ear. The target of their woes? Breakfast At Tiffany's. A song so offensive in its mediocrity that it's driven the guys to the brink of madness. Listen to them vent about everything from the racism in the movie to the fact that the song wasn't inspired by the movie at all.
April 8th, 2022 | 40 mins 58 secs
a bunch of cocaine, cocaine, kiss from a rose, love, maybe vaginas, more cocaine, seal, wow look at that cocaine
Seth and Marc wade through the mess of "mystery" lyrics that seem pretty obvious with Seal's's's Kiss From A Rose. How can a song so good also be so dumb? Get deep into the YA poetry of the song that almost got scrapped.
April 1st, 2022 | 42 mins 56 secs
alice in chains cover band, bullshit lies, cold sores, cultural appropriation, godsmack, voodoo
Marc and Seth travel deep into the heart of Haiti to uncover the secret to becoming a "zombi" and, instead, come back with this hunk of shit. Sully and crew write a song that sounds like it's about heroin but is instead about something much more boring.... a movie. The guys go through this with a fine-toothed comb but not before calling them on their bullshit claim surrounding their name.
March 25th, 2022 | 40 mins 52 secs
creepy white dudes, foreigner, hot blooded, secret rendezvous, std side effects
Is it a byproduct of some yet-to-be-named disease? Is it just good ol' fashioned horniness? Whatever it is, the boys in Foreigner are Hot Blooded and they are open to the idea of you looking for yourself. Seth and Marc get into the increasingly creepy 70's anthem about how hard it was to be a rocker in the golden age of rock.
March 18th, 2022 | 39 mins 54 secs
cnbc, cnn, csi, csn, csny, csy2k, fisted gloves, polyamory, stephen stills
Let's get into some good ol' fashioned folk. Back when someone would say "Hey, cat. You look bummed out. Just go fuck someone to forget about that person you're in love with." Marc and Seth get in the wayback machine to a simpler time when people just sexed their troubles away and talked about things like "fisted gloves" in Stephen Stills' hit Love The One You're With.
March 11th, 2022 | 41 mins 10 secs
corey hart, darkness, sunglasses at night, switchblades, third person, weirdo
Is that partial 3rd person narration we hear? Is Corey Hart losing his marbles? Seth and Marc feel around for some rhyme or reason to the 80's creepy hit that is apparently about being cheated on and trying to not see it? Except it doesn't really succeed in explaining what the fuck is going on and reads like a weirdo talking about switchblades.
March 4th, 2022 | 59 mins 17 secs
chop suey, father, keys, soad, suicide, system of a down, whispering
WAKE UP! Marc and Seth are joined by screen printing professional and all-around bad ass Joe Lachut to... be kind of surprised by the lyrics to an angry circus song. We get into the thick of the verse and chorus that just repeats plus that other part and talk about weird delivery working overtime against lyrics that are actually pretty captivating.