29 - By The Way

July 2nd, 2021  |  48 mins 1 sec

2 syllable words, blood bath, by the way, card shark, chili, hot, peppers, red, red hot chili peppers, rhcp, rib cage

After putting it off as long as they could, Marc and Seth finally take on the task of trying to decipher some of Anthony Kiedis' inane lyrics... and this one is a humdinger. Filled with placeholder two-syllable nonsense and shitty lines that are held together by duct tape, this song is too good for the words inside of it.

28 - Seventeen

June 25th, 2021  |  40 mins 43 secs

17, creep factor, daddy, jailbait, questionable content, seventeen, winger

Marc and Seth take on Kip, Reb and Co. while breaking down the song Seventeen by Winger. Not only is this song gross, but it also has a Tenet-esque timeline where we're seemingly jumping through portals. Who would've guessed a guy named Kip would be an unreliable narrator?

27 - Cocaine

June 18th, 2021  |  47 mins 52 secs

alcohol, clapton, cocaine, eric, eric clapton, heroin, jj cale, slow hand, slowhand

Seth and Marc invite old friend and Cocaine Specialist John Cappozzo over to discuss the "anti-drug" song Cocaine. Originally written by JJ Cale and made famous by Cocaine Specialist Eric Clapton, this song has the rhyming scheme of a 3rd graders' poetry and sounds like cocaine is pretty handy... especially for an "anti-drug" song.

26 - Pardon Me

June 11th, 2021  |  36 mins

3-d, calamity, combustication, combustion, incubus, pardon me, spontaneous, succubus

Seth and Marc listen to Brandon Boyd and Co. make a mountain out of a molehill. Make no mistake about it... 23 was a rough age for the singer-cum-sex icon. But so bad that he was on the verge of exploding? We hardly think so.

25 - Funky Cold Medina

June 4th, 2021  |  39 mins 58 secs

ace ventura, bestiality, date rape, drugging, fuzzy navel, loc, tone, tone loc, transphobia

Seth and Marc put on some thick gold chains and bust it b-boy style with one of the strangest pro-date/pro-bestiality/pro-transphobic songs of all time. Every verse gets stranger culminating in what finally makes him hang up his concoction... the threat of marriage!

24 - Africa

May 28th, 2021  |  39 mins 27 secs

80's drums, africa, national geographic, olympus, serengeti, toto

Seth and Marc do that cool thing where someone clears off the table with a big swipe and unfurl a large map of the Motherland Of Humanity: Africa! Unfortunately, it was written by some dorky white musical prodigies who only knew the continent from Nat Geo and commercials. A failed love plot briefly mentioned, "mystical lyrics" by way of bad poetry, and geographical errors. We're here for it.

23 - Tonight's The Night (Gonna Be Alright)

May 21st, 2021  |  44 mins 52 secs

coercion, mk ultra, power struggles, rod, rod stewart, sex slave, stewart, the rod, tonight's the night

22 - Take A Chance On Me

May 14th, 2021  |  35 mins 45 secs

abba, forced love, love with air quotes around it, marrying your stalker, stalkers, stalking, take a chance on me

Seth and Marc take a swan dive into the pathetic and increasingly rabid lyrics of Take A Chance On Me. Even the beautiful members of ABBA are sometimes on the non-receiving end of unrequited love and according to these words, they don't deal with it very well. It starts of sad and quickly gets pretty creepy.

21 - Girl Watcher

May 7th, 2021  |  30 mins 21 secs

creeps, girl watching, girls, mmm mmm mmm, my my my, peeping toms, stalking, voyeurism, watching

Seth and Marc are hopping into the Creep Delorean with Nice Guy's owner Greg Gebhard and saved a seat for you! Take a trip in the wayyyyyback machine... back to a time where a man could openly write a song about stalking women and probably jerking off in some nicely trimmed hedges. This song gets worse and worse as it goes on which is a special kind of hell and leaves you wondering where the story goes.

20 - Little Things

April 30th, 2021  |  28 mins 46 secs

bush, little, little things, meth, ravioli, things, wolves

It's Bush 2: Electric Bugaloo! Seth and Marc listen to some more this-or-that bullshit from Mr. Rossdale from a song that is allegedly about "feeling encumbered by life and overtaken by life and dwarfed by life" but also be about sweet, sweet methamphetamine. I KEELL!

19 - Glycerine

April 23rd, 2021  |  37 mins 42 secs

bad lyrics, bad poetry, bush, glycerine, nirvana knockoffs, opposites

Sometimes I'm Marc, sometimes you're Seth. Now I'm talking, always I'm silent. Bush sucks, Bush isn't good. Listen to Seth and Marc marvel at the tangled web of dichotomies that Gavin Rossdale weaves together like some kind of 7th grade spider.

18 - Sugar, We're Going Down

April 16th, 2021  |  28 mins 39 secs

boy, creep, creepy, fall, fall out boy, out, spy kinks, sugar, voyeurism, we're going down

Seth and Marc hide out in the closet with Pete Wentz & Co. for the whiny rock anthem of the Aughts. Clumsy metaphors are abound in this wannabe-gotcha "emo" song that is unfortunately too catchy than it has any right to be.

17 - Summer Girls

April 9th, 2021  |  52 mins 22 secs

band death, funkie, girls, lfo, lyte, mmer girls, ones, pro-choice, summer

Seth and Marc peel back a few layers of the lyrical onion that is the 1999 feel-good(?) summer hit aptly titled Summer Girls. Filled to the brim with "inside jokes" and non-sequiturs like a glass full of lemonade on a hot July day... except lemonade is good and this song sucks.

16 - Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

April 2nd, 2021  |  40 mins 49 secs

big, big and rich, horse sex, mr. hand, rich, ride a cowboy, save a horse, thoroughbred, zoo

The guys tackle their first country song and look deep into the true meaning of Big And Rich as an entity; are they one? At the same time, they ponder the shrouded world of horse kinks and whether or not this song supports it.

15 - In The Summertime

March 26th, 2021  |  41 mins 4 secs

anti-poor, classism, drinking, driving, in the summertime, jerry, mungo, mungo jerry, road head

Seth and Marc invite another elusive Ford Brother into the mix. Matt helps them weed through the classism, pro-drunk driving, and forced-sex narrative of the summer feel-good hit In The Summertime.

14 - Rockstar

March 19th, 2021  |  46 mins 49 secs

ass'les, big bathrooms, nickelback, rockstar, tassholes, tassles

Despite owning up to the fact that they might be nice and even a tad talented, Seth and Marc take great joy in tearing apart Nickelback... specifically the schlock that is the hit song Rockstar. Overly-excited lyrics about anorexia nervosa, drug use that sounds like it would kill a small elephant, and an unhealthy addiction to all things Playboy as well as a comparison to Elvis? Get out of here.