33 - Crash Into Me

July 30th, 2021  |  40 mins 46 secs

crash, crash into me, dave matthews band, dirty rascal, dmb, peeing tom, stalking

We're gonna go back to the days of the mid-late 90's when puka shell necklaces and kegstands were all rage... Also in the national zeitgeist at the time? Being a fucking peeping tom with abandonment issues, apparently. Topped off with a nursery rhyme! Dave Matthews and his band of talented misfits unleashed this anthem for stalkers unto a mostly unknowing crowd. We can stay silent no longer.

32 - Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

July 23rd, 2021  |  45 mins 38 secs

brain, cape, dunes, escape, lady, pina coladas, rain, shitty guitar solos, tomorrow noon, yoga

Pull up a beach chair, some personal ads, and a fruity drink! Seth and Marc bring to light the true story behind the sing along that probably caused the Jonestown Massacre. We learn that Rupert Holmes doesn't know how personal ads (or marriages) work and what really happens to the famous couple.

31 - As Good As I Once Was

July 15th, 2021  |  38 mins 2 secs

as good as i once was, as good once as i ever was, color of money, excessive commas, keith, threesomes, toby, toby keith

Break out your Stetson and some Wranglers and bind and gag Toby Keith! Marc and Seth tackle a real Southern anthem to incestuous threesomes and bailing your buddy out of shitty situations he chose to get himself into.... all tied together by one of the clunkiest attempts at a tagline ever. Fun!

30 - Butterfly

July 8th, 2021  |  1 hr 2 mins

baby, butterflies, butterfly, crazy town, crazytown, shaky legs, sugar

A supersized episode for a supersized piece of shit song! Marc and Seth recruit real Crazy Town professional Elyse in to help figure out what the fuck this song is. About as romantic as school bus crash, Shifty Shellshock and Epic Mazur pen this shitty poetry to some very unlucky women who would probably rather their eyes eaten out by rats.

29 - By The Way

July 2nd, 2021  |  48 mins 1 sec

2 syllable words, blood bath, by the way, card shark, chili, hot, peppers, red, red hot chili peppers, rhcp, rib cage

After putting it off as long as they could, Marc and Seth finally take on the task of trying to decipher some of Anthony Kiedis' inane lyrics... and this one is a humdinger. Filled with placeholder two-syllable nonsense and shitty lines that are held together by duct tape, this song is too good for the words inside of it.

28 - Seventeen

June 25th, 2021  |  40 mins 43 secs

17, creep factor, daddy, jailbait, questionable content, seventeen, winger

Marc and Seth take on Kip, Reb and Co. while breaking down the song Seventeen by Winger. Not only is this song gross, but it also has a Tenet-esque timeline where we're seemingly jumping through portals. Who would've guessed a guy named Kip would be an unreliable narrator?

27 - Cocaine

June 18th, 2021  |  47 mins 52 secs

alcohol, clapton, cocaine, eric, eric clapton, heroin, jj cale, slow hand, slowhand

Seth and Marc invite old friend and Cocaine Specialist John Cappozzo over to discuss the "anti-drug" song Cocaine. Originally written by JJ Cale and made famous by Cocaine Specialist Eric Clapton, this song has the rhyming scheme of a 3rd graders' poetry and sounds like cocaine is pretty handy... especially for an "anti-drug" song.

26 - Pardon Me

June 11th, 2021  |  36 mins

3-d, calamity, combustication, combustion, incubus, pardon me, spontaneous, succubus

Seth and Marc listen to Brandon Boyd and Co. make a mountain out of a molehill. Make no mistake about it... 23 was a rough age for the singer-cum-sex icon. But so bad that he was on the verge of exploding? We hardly think so.

25 - Funky Cold Medina

June 4th, 2021  |  39 mins 58 secs

ace ventura, bestiality, date rape, drugging, fuzzy navel, loc, tone, tone loc, transphobia

Seth and Marc put on some thick gold chains and bust it b-boy style with one of the strangest pro-date/pro-bestiality/pro-transphobic songs of all time. Every verse gets stranger culminating in what finally makes him hang up his concoction... the threat of marriage!

24 - Africa

May 28th, 2021  |  39 mins 27 secs

80's drums, africa, national geographic, olympus, serengeti, toto

Seth and Marc do that cool thing where someone clears off the table with a big swipe and unfurl a large map of the Motherland Of Humanity: Africa! Unfortunately, it was written by some dorky white musical prodigies who only knew the continent from Nat Geo and commercials. A failed love plot briefly mentioned, "mystical lyrics" by way of bad poetry, and geographical errors. We're here for it.

23 - Tonight's The Night (Gonna Be Alright)

May 21st, 2021  |  44 mins 52 secs

coercion, mk ultra, power struggles, rod, rod stewart, sex slave, stewart, the rod, tonight's the night

22 - Take A Chance On Me

May 14th, 2021  |  35 mins 45 secs

abba, forced love, love with air quotes around it, marrying your stalker, stalkers, stalking, take a chance on me

Seth and Marc take a swan dive into the pathetic and increasingly rabid lyrics of Take A Chance On Me. Even the beautiful members of ABBA are sometimes on the non-receiving end of unrequited love and according to these words, they don't deal with it very well. It starts of sad and quickly gets pretty creepy.

21 - Girl Watcher

May 7th, 2021  |  30 mins 21 secs

creeps, girl watching, girls, mmm mmm mmm, my my my, peeping toms, stalking, voyeurism, watching

Seth and Marc are hopping into the Creep Delorean with Nice Guy's owner Greg Gebhard and saved a seat for you! Take a trip in the wayyyyyback machine... back to a time where a man could openly write a song about stalking women and probably jerking off in some nicely trimmed hedges. This song gets worse and worse as it goes on which is a special kind of hell and leaves you wondering where the story goes.

20 - Little Things

April 30th, 2021  |  28 mins 46 secs

bush, little, little things, meth, ravioli, things, wolves

It's Bush 2: Electric Bugaloo! Seth and Marc listen to some more this-or-that bullshit from Mr. Rossdale from a song that is allegedly about "feeling encumbered by life and overtaken by life and dwarfed by life" but also be about sweet, sweet methamphetamine. I KEELL!

19 - Glycerine

April 23rd, 2021  |  37 mins 42 secs

bad lyrics, bad poetry, bush, glycerine, nirvana knockoffs, opposites

Sometimes I'm Marc, sometimes you're Seth. Now I'm talking, always I'm silent. Bush sucks, Bush isn't good. Listen to Seth and Marc marvel at the tangled web of dichotomies that Gavin Rossdale weaves together like some kind of 7th grade spider.

18 - Sugar, We're Going Down

April 16th, 2021  |  28 mins 39 secs

boy, creep, creepy, fall, fall out boy, out, spy kinks, sugar, voyeurism, we're going down

Seth and Marc hide out in the closet with Pete Wentz & Co. for the whiny rock anthem of the Aughts. Clumsy metaphors are abound in this wannabe-gotcha "emo" song that is unfortunately too catchy than it has any right to be.